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Theories abound as to the purpose of dreams, their source, and how to interpret them. On the mystical side, there is the idea that we actually travel to other dimensions while sleeping, and the dream is a memory of these out-of-body adventures. Or it might work the other way: we are visited in our sleep by other-worldly beings - the spirits of ancestors, for instance - and our dreams are their encoded messages. Scientists and physicians look to the dreamer's own memories, experiences, and subconscious urges to reveal the dream's meaning. What all of these approaches have in common is the way they assign symbolic meaning to the objects which appear in dreams. Too bad the wisdom of the ages could not anticipate the sorts of things people are dreaming about today. Or could it?
My Polish matriarchs were really big on dreams, especially prescient ones - so I figured they were the ones to consult. After many hours of difficult, draining work in which I just kept telling myself, "Keep sleeping, keep sleeping," while I drifted around some pretty weird dimensions, I was able to make contact with Mime Baileh. She made me sit down next to an old gramophone and then cranked it up. A spray of brightly colored jump drives came flying out of the horn and landed in my lap. I looked down at them and thought, "These contain all the information I need." Then they turned into buffalo wings and I woke up and realized I had been asleep for fourteen hours. So I have no idea what was on Mime Baileh's jump drives, but I believe she was telling me to "wing it" because I never eat wings of any kind and always dream about grilled cheese sandwiches when the subject is food.
With Mime Baileh's blessing, then, here is my brief guide to the interpretation of modern dream imagery.
CONCERNING AIR TRAVEL
A dream of being lost in the terminal; missed opportunities. Of the plane taking off; self confidence. Of the plane landing; security. Of waiting at the baggage carousel; unexpected guests. Of being stuck in the plane's bathroom; misfortune in business. Of being in the bathroom and the door flies open while your pants are down; you will have many healthy children who will quarrel over your money.
A dream of missing your flight because you can't decide whether or not to pack the nail clippers: All dreams of nail clippers relate to sex. Lost clippers; you are ashamed of your desires. Very large clippers; beware of a woman with big feet. Confiscated clippers; your parents never understood you.
CONCERNING AUTOMOBILES
In general, the size of the vehicle denotes the dreamer's level of worry and responsibility: Small sports cars; few cares. Old sedans; longstanding debt. Vans and SUVs; you have taken on more than you can handle. Stretched limo; neglected responsibilities are about to catch up to you.
A pick-up truck always represents one's spiritual life: If it is loaded full; you are set in your beliefs. Empty; you are ready for a new start. The pick-up is muddy, wet or in disrepair; beware of false prophets.
A dream of driving very fast; love of fashion. If you are the passenger; you will soon quarrel with a loved one. A dream of being stuck in traffic; constipation.
CONCERNING CELEBRITIES
If you dream of a celebrity you admire, do not play games of chance during the coming week. If you dream of criminals, politicians, or other loathsome personalities in the public eye, you will soon have an unwanted suitor. If the celebrity is naked, interesting news is on the way; if the dreamer is naked, false glory.
CONCERNING FOOD AND DRINK
A dream of ordering food at a drive-thru window; gossip. If the food never comes; deceit.
A dream of being in a beer ad: If you are an attractive person in the ad; your family expects much from you. If you are the dumb guy in the ad; you are the subject of much family gossip.
A dream of waiting in line for coffee; you should call your mother.
Exploding microwave oven: This is a common image in contemporary dreams and typically denotes successful completion of a project; however, if the microwave is heating a beverage just before it bursts into flames, this indicates unforseen delays. (And if it so happens that the dreamer is in ill health at the time of such a dream, a hot bath is indicated.)
CONCERNING HEALTH AND MEDICINE
Sneezing; long life. Broken arm; vexation. Dieting; greed. Hospital; anxiety. An old doctor; sage advice. A handsome young doctor; a mother's prayers. Blue pills; hope.
CONCERNING JOINT CUSTODY
A dream about one's ex-spouse losing the children at the mall; joy of short duration.
A dream about one's ex-mother-in-law; political storms.
CONCERNING SHOES
A dream of many shoes; prosperity. Of misplacing shoes or going barefoot; poverty. Of mis-matched shoes; confused sexual identity.
A dream of wearing coil shoes that are so springy you bounce high in the air when you walk; spiritual revelation. Of wearing high-heeled shoes that puncture the sidewalk; you impose your views on others. If you are a man; inability to read maps.
CONCERNING SHOPPING
The store represents the dreamer's physical health and self image: Shopping in a boutique; bundle up in damp weather. Shopping in a big box store; fertility. In a mall; tendency to hypochondria.
A dream of pushing a shopping cart and having your legs become rubbery so they barely hold you up and you are sort of flopping along with the cart: If the cart is full; procrastination. If the cart is empty; dental problems.
A dream of using a credit card; self-love. Of using a debit card; suspicion.
CONCERNING TECHNOLOGY
This is by far the biggest category of modern dream images, and the most rapidly changing. In general: To dream of using outdated technology indicates a message from your ancestors. A dream of state-of-the-art technology; dissipation of wealth. Of being unable to operate a device or read its output; sorrows and misfortunes. Of unassembled or dismantled electronic parts; vengeance.
A dream about e-mail; the dreamer will receive good news. The e-mail is all spam; dreamer should become a vegetarian.
A dream about using a cell phone: With a clear connection; determination. With static; lack of discipline.
A dream of using a Macintosh computer system indicates an unhealthy attachment to mother; a dream of using a Windows-based system suggests a need to prove oneself to father.
A dream of using a laptop; a long voyage. Of a power point presentation; political influence. Of the computer mouse; many small troubles. Of the computer keyboard; a manipulative person. Ipod; lucky in love. Blackberry; ambition.
Google: It is not true that if you google your name in a dream and it actually comes up on the screen, you will die instantly. However, if you google yourself in a dream and an obituary comes up, you are advised to see a doctor right away.
A dream of being on television, watching television, playing video games, or a dream in which the action takes place in a TV program or electronic game, or which features the characters from TV programs or games; the dreamer will soon require a larger pants size. ;-) © 2006, Zelda Leah Gatuskin
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